I almost leaped up from the couch when my therapist asked if I'd ever been tested for ADD. Back in 2006, after my second round of therapy, I was almost convinced by a person I met at a conference that I had ADD. It would explain so many things! Difficulties concentrating in numerous ways that I had worked so hard to cover up and compensate for, especially as a scholar and teacher, and even as a friend.
I immediately called a friend I thought would sympathize, but was brushed off with a "that's just talk." How could I have achieved so much, intellectually and academically, if I had ADD?
Cut to last week in my therapist's office and all I can feel is excitement and relief at the prospect of getting some validation for all my struggles and shame throughout the years. The hope of getting "fixed"! I envisioned myself in the classroom again teaching, this time without the paranoid fear of being "found out."
Having since that session read more about how to cope with ADD, I'm not quite so hopeful anymore. Though my therapist was very encouraging that things could get easier for me (in particular, she talked about how brain patterns can be reconfigured where there are glitches, but I got the sense that this form of therapy is rarely used because insurance companies don't cover the treatment). Still, the literature suggests things can get better, so I'm clinging to hope.
I'm starting the three session diagnosis process this week. I'm particularly intrigued by the EEG testing they'll do of my brain's electrical activity.
I have so many things I'd like to say about all of this, but at the moment my brain is foggy from all the thoughts this has brought up. — I'll share more when I'm less distracted. For now I at least wanted to start the conversation. I'd love to hear from others who've gone through the ADD diagnosis process as an adult, whether you tested positive or negative. (My therapist seems pretty confident I do have ADD, unless my struggles are a result of anxiety/post traumatic stress disorder.)